Damn that sex ed lady said a woman only has an 11% chance of orgasming if she has sex with a man, but 93% chance if she has sex with another woman.

No matter the style of kiss, grab a handful of ass. Amen.

Lesbian 2nd dates are just like Heterosexual 2nd dates, except you're engaged and just bought a kitten together.

Men, if you think my name is Fruity 'cause I taste like fruit, that's fucking disgusting 😒 My name is Fruity 'cause I'm GAY. Ladies, my name is Fruity 'cause I taste like fruit 😉

Men who don't listen to women are shit in bed. It's a direct correlation; there is no debate.

Being a lesbian is hard, because as a sapphic, you are attracted to women's bodies... but as a woman, you want to change your own. wtf is that

Clitoral erections are normal, squirting is normal, pubes are normal, discharge is normal, getting wet is normal, not getting wet is normal, small labia are normal, large labia are normal, small clits are normal, large clits are normal, pink labia are normal, dark labia are nor

When I say I'm an ass person it does not mean I'm a person who likes thicc ass. It literally means Imma grab your butt idgaf what it looks like. I wanna touch the butt.

I don't remember the part where Firelord Ozai went into a coma, but I'm really happy for Azula.

Now realizing my account is heavily catered towards men. I have boobs, I post my boobs, and I talk about the things I want to do with women's boobs.

Them: Man I want to fuck you so bad Me: Ly. BadLY. Them: What? Me: You see, if you leave off LY, it just means you want to fuck me poorly. But if you add the LY, it changes it from an adjective to an adverb and—wait where are you going?

Straight women on a 1st date: We got coffee in a crowded place during the day. I took a pic of his license plate and sent it to my friend with my GPS location. Me on a 1st date: We met in the middle of the woods at 2am so we could watch a meteor shower alone. We're engaged now.

Being a lesbian is cool, because pussy.

Me after all my 1st dates:

Saw a man today. Did not like that.

My gf left me cuz I’m insecure Never mind she's back, she went pee

My 5yo named her new kitten Penis. Penis is female.