you guys don't even know, i've been anticipating the Spader-issance for YEARS

i'm not joking i thought this was cloris leachman

think about how many nuanced Mark Ruffalo roles we've missed out on because he's busy playing the stupid fucking hulk

seeing Bats (1999) in the theater as a ten yr old was my Altamont

i listen to rob zombie because no one else can rhyme "motherfucker" with as many words as he can

skanking around the campfire

you're my emotional support diva

my favorite part of day is NIGHT

i should be taking more advantage of the heat of combat

literally my wife!

wow i forgot about the speed boat fight at the end of Face/Off

obviously it's time for Unbuttoned Unc Summer

Papa, can you rear me ?

it is the thinnest of crusts, a diaphanous thing. it is as thin as the veil which separates the world of the living from the realm of the dead. the pizza is thinnest on the night of All Hallow's Eve.

does floss expire

guys who can be nicknamed "Bobby D" besides Robert De Niro - Robert Duvall - Bob Dylan - Bob Dole - Robert Durst

is it steamy in here or do you just have huge knockers

i was doing this when you were still short enough for my low-hanging balls to balance on your head (wicked burn on bold youngsters)

bid adieu to the needlenose peckerwood behind me at the concert by patting him on the shoulder and asking him to try not following any women to their cars tonight (in front of his wife)