Two hours of trying to get it up.....and its over in just 8 minutes. Seems like my sex life. #Felix

I just jumped from the edge of space, fell over 127,000 feet and landed safely back on the Earth. What the hell were you doing this morning?

I specifically asked for a whiskey, a pack of cigarettes, and a damn blow job when I got back down. I'm drinking a Monster in protest.

One small step for man, one giant leap for energy drink marketing. #Felix

Of all the inevitably historic lines I could have said just before I jump. All I thought of was "YOLO" #Felix

This is accurate. Retweet if I'm the bad-ass of the century. #Felix

Yo tengo los huevos grandes. Retweet if you know what I mean #Felix