Here I am, alone in a remote cabin, tending to animals and working the land, and there’s some man I don’t know calling me a whore under a picture of tomatoes I picked to make tomato paste. Life can be beautiful

I need someone to post for

You’re not just my favorite mutual but also my favorite lab rat, the subject of my tender scrutiny. I’m inspecting you with a scholarly devotion that only a true connoisseur of the peculiar could muster

You don’t understand me

The schizoid woman is endlessly subjected to the wrath of a man who wants to possess her—a tale as old as time. Leave me alone. I will never be real and have no real desire to mean anything to anyone

Lowkey getting a tan

Women get a crush and turn into Captain Ahab

“These posts are protected.” Okay well so are mine, by some divine force

Summer has overstayed its welcome, lingered too long. Everything is overgrown, overripe, overdone. The world is a corpse bloated with the remnants of too much life, too much joy, too much of everything

(Mediterranean girl voice) I need to eat 150 olives about this

I’m sorry for tweeting so much I haven’t seen another person in five days

Good morning

I’m in summer squash heaven

Crying in front of a cow

Unless you've provided solid, tangible proof that you like me, I'll comfortably assume the opposite… Happy saturday

Would anyone like to kill me?