a fun game to play with a chiropractor is to go completely limp after they pop your neck just to see what they do

My nose is so long and pointy I could use it to pick a lock on a bank safe.

*trucker convoy holding Ottawa residents hostage* Justin Trudeau: *watching olympics* did you guys see that backflip?

A sneak peek into what it looks like to chase your childhood dream of being a pro football player while going through an emo phase.

Imagine being the person who had to call 50 Cent and be like “So for the Super Bowl halftime show we’d like you to be hanging upside down like a bat”

I think pears are overrated.

I want to be the first person with dyslexia to win Wheel of Fortune

Being in your 30’s means getting angry at people who have more than 12 items in an express lane.