School drop off line this morning, I’m behind a mini van and I can see Nacho Libre playing on the little tv screen for the kids in the back seat. I want to be friends with that parent

A voice you will always remember, with that smile that came with it.

A crucial realization on my aging journey, I don’t yet have those old elbows. #WinningWednesday

Who remembers the good ole days where the month before an election was just harmless political shenanigans?

Wanna make billion zillion dollars? Invent a crayon that doesn’t melt in the car.

Paper mache projects are getting a little out of hand.

You know how shocked you were when found out your favorite actor actually had a British accent? What if we found out Sam Elliott actually has a super strong Southie Boston accent?

Rammer jammer yellow hammer. Let’s beat those Vols!

Jacksonville Jaguars played in the London game today. The mullet ratio in London spiked today with fans in attendance.

Jokes on you. It was Wednesday.

‘Trunk or treat’ sounds like you are either getting candy or put in a trunk.

I went to bed last night thinking nothing really exciting would happen…

My phone keep autocorrecting Penn State to Lenny State and I think that might check out.

Why haven’t any diet brands, zero alcohol beers, or at least zero sugar sodas ever launched a ‘drop the hero and get with the zero’ campaign. Get Vanilla Ice to do the ad. Come on it writes itself!

Just saw an ad on TV for a law firm asking for people who have been injured by their vehicle airbags in a crash, even if the crash was their fault. Defense for the auto and airbag industry in court: ‘but did you die?’

November 1st. The Great Halloweengover.

What’s the caption here? #caption #alcohol

It’s Election Day today, and I’m running….around the block. #cardio #GoVote

Don’t get me wrong. I dig it, but is Jason Kelce’s stylist an 85 year old man who lives in the English countryside?

I washed my hands this morning. Eat your heart out Dusty Slay