they would actually have to physically drag me out of the zoo at closing

Jeff Bezos added over $35 BILLION to his wealth during the pandemic, but the media is trying to convince us that some guy who got a $1 raise at Wendy’s is causing skyrocketing inflation? Gimme a break

Brendan Fraser in tears during a 6-minute standing ovation for ‘THE WHALE’. Read our review: bit.ly/WhaleDF

go on then

at least we didn’t find out through the jahseh edit

All i’m saying

the best tour ever is in ldn tn. know lizzie hot she ain’t make it

“mermaids can’t be black” did u know they don’t actually exist?

SNL 2012 Kendrick Lamar

Hands down, this is the best advice I can share in twitter! #HurricaneIan #Ian

nothing says scam like this emoji ✅

I single-handedly did this

Martin Lawrence what the hell is this

(Forgetting im in gay court and not Yoda Court) Not me committing the murder in question!

It's honestly hilarious how every time a weirdly arbitrary change is made to Twitter, you can always trace it back to a recent moment when people made fun of Elon for something.

keep your sons home theyre starting to ask us our “big 3”