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Today has been a stressful and painful day. I'm about to take these pain meds, and try to rest. So...y'all stay safe and stay sexy. Night, y'all.

This is perfectly stated...

This IS me trying to do better.

I'm already looking forward to being completely clueless again tomorrow.

I have now packed and repacked three times. I have no idea what to take on this trip.

When in doubt, rub o̶n̶e̶ 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦 out

Murphy's Law: when you've been waiting on a call for 2 hours, and they ring as soon as you went to go and pee

Might escape to a forest and lay down

There’s so much beauty in the little things, that cuts through the noise.

If life gives you lemons... lick it, or however the saying goes

I’m explaining to my family that grandma let out an audible groan during her last rites because she was dying, not because she noticed the Baconator I pulled out of my cargo shorts pocket.

Wait.... people go camping by choice? I figured they had all lost a bet

Can I say something about bullying without ya’ll getting mad?

Not sure why they had to make him younger. Probably should’ve just put him down.

I've had this car for 4 years and just now aimed the air perfectly between my thighs....

Hold your loved ones tight and find someone else to hug too bc they need it. 💋

Oh damn! I just realized that I need about $500 along with some Juicy Fruit gum and a pack of Kools pronto, brother

When I was young, my babysitter used to give me $2.00 and send me in to buy her cigarettes. Should I bring this up In therapy? Do you think I’m making progress? I mean- hell, make Anthem keep paying, right?

Me too, Pardner…me too

I love you very much and I’m very grateful that you’re my friend. Thank you for the encouragement. Thank you for being good people with gestures of goodwills. ♥️ Thank you for always trying to be civil and kind. Thank you for accepting me as I accept you. I wish you well in life