My family decided we don't want to do any cooking today and luckily our favorite eatery is open.

A friend of mine works at the In-N-Out which Jay Leno visited a few days ago. He said that Jay forgot his wallet and had to use some of his Tonight Show money to pay for the meal.

Whoa whoa whoa, if we're at a restaurant together and I tell you to order anything you want, I'm not saying I'm treating. All I'm saying is don't worry about the calories, enjoy yourself.

I had a feeling they'd blast a John Denver song during the #SuperBowl

Taylor Swift should just bail after seeing Kendrick perform #SuperBowl

Lol to the Chiefs fans who jumped the gun and got a "three-peat" cake before the game started. #SuperBowl

They named their company Tick Pick just to make that dick pic joke

Twitter is shite, follow me on Threads, same username

To celebrate Anora's win, most strippers will be offering BOGO lap dances tonight.

LOL at the UFC giving Anthony Smith this really touching send off when they gave Anderson Silva NOTHING.

If a comedy open mic host had a baby with a karaoke host, that baby would be so talented.

One new comedy show producer vs one hundred open mic'ers One OnlyFans model vs one hundred incels telling her to stop using her body for money. One toilet vs one hundred Taco Bell customers. One hundred Bob Marleys vs One Love.

L.A folks: I am putting on a free comedy show in Alhambra this Friday. It will be taking place at a non alcohol having bar called Free Spirited, they do mocktails & food. Show is open to all ages. Come on out, should be a good time. All pertinent info listed on the flier. Thanks

I saw Nate Bargatze drop in at a comedy club last night and he was PISSED at how some people had recently turned on him for taking a photo with Republican Senator Marsha Blackburn. I've never seen a clean comedian be so upset, he must've yelled out "aw-shucks" a good seven times

Will Arnett recently said that they are currently writing the sequel to Is This Thing On? and that it entails his character moving to L.A and then saying something homophobic at an Alt show and then only being able to get stage time by hosting an open mic at a dive bar in Pacoima

In Los Angeles, we have five comedy clubs and twenty six "comedy clubs."

My name has been on the Comedy Store wall for twelve years now. Nobody ever notices it because I wrote it really tiny.

Twitter/X is such garbage Follow me on Threads where I post musings daily same username