(Athletes debating the existence of coach) Lol, you idiot. You believe in an old man in the stands who tells us what to do? Grow up. We’re all alone out here. just animals on a field.

Instead of saying ‘Goodbye’ maybe try ‘Remember the Titans’.

He steps down on the last stair and his right leg folds up to the thigh, cracking a dozen times. “Is this it? Is it happening now?”

CHECK MY SHIT

*Giuliani’s ambulance pulls up to Cedars-Sinai Landscaping & Lawncare Center*

Rudy and Donald wade through a bright mist, making out a face in the distance. It’s Kevin Greeson, the 01/06 insurrectionist who tased himself in the dick & balls to death. KG: “Welcome to Heaven!” R&D: “This is Heaven?”🤨🤨 KG: “Well is HAS to be! You’re both here!” R&D: 😕😕

Kathy, hold all my calls today

Sorry I have to share this image from a party I went to last night

Kharkiv. This is what Russia does as useful idiots around the world keep licking Putin’s shoes and whitewash its crimes with high-minded pseudo-geopolitical theories.

ALWAYS BE CANCELLING your Disney+ subscription.

Castor Troy: Peach…I could eat a peach for hours. Me [also on the plane cause it’s a shared charter]: I really like plumcots!

Wildest part of the 90’s was when you’d overhear a crowd shouting BACK OFF, GET YOUR OWN SANDWICH! then find a small crowd bashing a clearly already dead person w/ shovels. And you just had to keep walking & keep ur mouth shut.

Nothing in the Basement by Romie Stott is such a wonderful, scary, funny, sad, beautiful book. Get a copy and read it and then stare out the window at the leaves for 45 min.

I’m giving myself the gift of a 90% social media break until Oct. 15. I can still be found on BeReal & messaging apps. Everybody try to be nice to each other for a bit.

how can I upgrade emophilips.com when the librarian who banned me refuses to retire

Hey friends. I’ll no longer be posting regularly. I’d like to get into the habit of posting something twice/month. In the meantime tho, not scrolling or posting feels amazing. Taker easy🫡

Bucha, right now. Our children can celebrate Christmas in wartime. And that is thanks to those whose faces watch over us from the memorial valley nearby.