Hermes, squishing Apollo's face between two pieces of bread idiot sandwich style: what are you?! Apollo: a snack!

Eros: *signs a legal document with a pink glitter gel pen*

Zeus: "i’ll speak french between your legs" Zeus: that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever been told Poseidon: i’m just picturing someone screaming “BONJOUR” at a penis Poseidon: SACRE BLEU MADEMOISELLE VAGINA HON HON HON TITTY CROISSANTS Zeus: TITTY CROISSANTS Hera: Hera: uhg

Like, yes. Percabeth's grey streaks are CANONLY gone in HoO but,,, the shit they went through??????? THEY ALREADY HAVE GREY HAIR. PERCY WITH GREY HAIR>>>>>>>>>>

some of y’all be like “this is my comfort character” and it’s a villain who sliced someone in half

so, like, jason x brick has been a thing for, like, ever, right? WHY HAVENT WE DONE THE OBVIOUS LESTER X DUMPSTER??????????????? IF JASON CAN DATE A BRICK WHY CANT LESTER HAVE AN RELATIONSHIP WITH A DUMPSTER????????? I NEED FANFIC WHY IS THIS NOT A THING

“Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone.”

god i hate unnecessary love triangles when it’s oh so obvious which one the mc is gonna pick in the end

“You are 𝘯𝘰𝘵 shadow-travelling. Doctor’s orders.”

The myth of Tantalus has evolved

As it should be

What you need to navigate the Minotaur's labyrinth: a thread 🧵

Say what you will about Oedipus, that mother-fucker told some killer dad jokes

Excellent

Hades: my father used to say "you never want to let a woman see you too eager to please her. gives her too much power" Persephone: and what do you think about that? Hades: i think that i'm completely under your power and i'm happy about it