If the Cleveland Cavaliers win the 2018 NBA finals I’ll buy everyone who retweet’s this a jersey...

Uber. Lyft. Via. Gett. Juno. Yellow cab. Limo service. A sober friend. A sober family member. Fucking sleep in the back seat of your car, ANYTHING BUT THIS.

M&Ms are only good in trail mix

City Life in Japan

I ORDERED A PIZZA WITH PINEAPPLE AND

Can't access the National Ocean Service's website for some reason, but I'm just gonna blame Trump

Bruh someone tell planet earth to hire my guy x.com/RoastMeTweets/…

Well Said, 👏🏼👏🏼... King James and his Queen

"you didn't say turn" 😂😂

Fostering #GingerGurl is one of the best things I've ever done. ASPCA Wags and Walks #AdoptDontShop #fosteringsaveslives #pibbles

Damn can't wait to hit the ARC again

@United overbook #flight3411 and decided to force random passengers off the plane. Here's how they did it:

I'll eat a Chipotle burrito if my braces come off tomorrow

@jodilynnlee They got you fucked up

Today would have been our 25th wedding anniversary. I miss you so very much, and I am grateful every day for the time we had together.

Fucking eduroam

It's 2017 and hella basketball and running shorts still aint got pockets smh

Swear like a thousand fireworks going off everyday for the past week in the dubs

Pineapples are for fruit salads not Pizza ! x.com/dinkumdolan/st…

Stephen Hawking, Who Awed Both Scientists And The Public, Dies n.pr/2FxqXc5