Correction to my last tweet: I just want to travel the world for the rest of my stupid life why is the universe making that so hard for me!!!

stop getting into relationships when u need THERAPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Planning all of my trips for 2023 and I have suddenly found the will to live again

I think smartphones are ruining our lives but also if I had to go to the airport in 1998 with just my wits & a subway map I’d kill myself

Personally victimized by my snap memories 2022 recap

The Domino’s delivery car should sell loose pizzas. No need to order just when u see the beautiful luminous plastic domino atop a sedan & get the immediate urge to have a pie you can knock on the window & grab a loosie. Cash. Just cheese. Larges of course. Lives would be changed.

You don’t realize how toxic/controlling your partner and relationship really were until you’re talking to someone saying something that feels completely normal (bc you were conditioned to think so) and then you see their horrified facial expression

My toxic trait is that I really think I could pull Travis Kelce with my personality if I ever got the opportunity to meet him

I am a nepo baby ( still on my moms ezpass)

if you think about it the gym is basically a silent disco

Life really does come full circle because all of my patients (70s-90s) always refer to the other patients as “old timers” and “old men/women” as if they themselves are not in fact also old

If I don’t get an email from Zach Bryan in the next 2 days and 8 hours I seriously fear for myself and everyone around me

Do you ever just sit and think about how there are so many beautiful places on this fucking planet and that you don’t have enough time or money to see them all in your lifetime????

One of my favorite things is when you can tell that a gf forced her significant other to post them on social media

last month i called 911 on myself for feeling suicidal and the bill with insurance is over $2,000. the 15 min "psych evaluation" alone was $400. oh, and they still sent me home that night. it cost me $2k to not take my life. america's healthcare system is so fucked lol

Born to be a Yankee.

it’s so funny to see tweets like this bc…they DO know their audience…they’re a multi million dollar company. YOU losers are the minority here!!! everyone hates you bigots and you only think you’re the majority because you’re all so fucking loud and annoying about your baseless

2 drivers in Florida started firing their guns at each other in a fit of road rage for no reason. One man had a 5-year-old in his car and the other one had a 14-year-old. Both of the children got shot. Just like our forefathers intended when they wrote the Constitution.

I don’t think people realize how wealthy people live. Yacht owners have staff on call, including a chef, just to be available when they feel like getting on their toy boat. A Walmart grandkid has a $300M boat docked at an island and when she decides to take the boat out, nearly