I want to believe that the rafter of turkeys in the woods behind my house feel similarly, but they tend to gobble & run whenever I scream my plot points into the void. The groundhog under my shed, however, is incredibly patient & an excellent listener. Plus, he’s fuzzy.

why is it the older you get the harder it is to please your family

My #FridayReads is THE GOOD FOR NOTHINGS by Danielle Banas - can't wait! #SaraBookClub

#castcompliment shoutout to Tori at the Plaza Ice Cream Parlor tonight for being so kind and accommodating regarding my multiple allergies. The vanilla soy frozen dessert was the best treat I had during my entire vacation! 😍

Seinfeld Today: Elaine spends six hours in a testing line, Jerry finds his new girlfriend less attractive with a mask off, George attends an anti-vax rally so he can get "super-immunity," and Kramer hoards rapid tests.

Yeah, hi. No one should EVER be treated this way in any industry. I used to be a pro at overworking myself—to the point that my mental and physical health suffered in the worst ways imaginable. Years later, I’m still working to recover. Humans are not machines. ❤️

*Jumps up and down* Hey, Netflix, I have snarky cinnamon roll superheroes, musical theater spoofs, baking robots, intergalactic heists, and criminals who are anything BUT masterminds. And nope, this isn’t all packed into the same book, but imagine if IT WERE!🤯

rt if u agree that mcknight road is the worst street in pgh

Yo... Agent Cody Banks was a bad ass. And I was Cody Banks. That's bad ass. I wonder if 36 year old Cody Banks is sitting in bed eating Fritos while shaking his gut, thinking "I really let myself go" like I'm doing right now. What do you do after you saved the world twice at 16?

This is gold.

I’m allergic to cats and I never knew this until about 2 months ago. 🤯 My dog sleeps next to me all night long and snores like a freight train.

I’m a finalist in Margaritaville Resort Orlando’s Story Contest. Help me rally votes: flip.to/r/vdufz Margaritaville Resort Orlando

I’m a finalist in Margaritaville Resort Orlando’s Story Contest. Help me rally votes: flip.to/r/i5l98 Margaritaville Resort Orlando

I’m currently dealing with some health stuff and I’m retweeting this for anyone else who may be too and needs to know that they aren’t alone. It’s going to be ok, friends.

I’m 43. When I was young, I chased things that didn’t matter. You can learn from my mistakes. If you’re 20-something, read this:

Jesus! When you start nearing late 30s and 40s and everyone around you has fibroids, pCOS, etc and the doctors only answers for years has been birth control then hysterectomy, you have no choice but to come on these platforms shaking the table. This is a silent epidemic

QUICK TIPS FROM JESUS for DEALING WITH YOUR FAMILY 🧵 1. PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW THEM MARK 3:31-32 — “Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him. They stood outside and sent word for him to come out & talk with them... Jesus replied, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” 1/7

When Cora lands herself in prison after a botched heist, she and her misfit cellmates must seek out long-lost treasure if they have any hope of being pardoned. Can they beat the other crews to it? tinyurl.com/4kprewwm Danielle Banas #sciencefiction #fiction #kidlit