Please enjoy my profile in the Toronto Guardian, which they misplaced for several months and then somehow still got my name wrong even after I emailed them days ago warning them that it looked like they were getting my name wrong torontoguardian.com/2025/08/toront…

I hope we find out soon if the Charlie Kirk shooter is hot, because it's going to determine the future direction of a LOT of Luigi Mangione fanfiction

Remember when techno dystopia was Terminator or Blade Runner or the Matrix and not having to tell Adobe Acrobat that no, you don't need a fucking AI summary of this two-page document EVERY GODDAMN TIME GO AWAY

Yeah, but wait'll you hear about ADvilHD

Spoiler: you open it

Petition to more accurately rename pizza bagels verkakte focaccia

Come see me do my best Hitchcock impression and a bunch of other spooky stuff!

Jesus Christ, Amazon, read the room

Looking for something to do in #Toronto between Toronto Blue Jays games this week? Our annual #Halloween special is this Thursday at the JCB Theatre! Costumes encouraged! Free Candy! Tickets at SecondCity.com!

McDonald's Canada has put ranch dressing on poutine and this may be the first thing ever to convince me that Quebec really does need to secede to protect its culture

#Toronto! Come to this FREE standup showcase tonight featuring ten of the city's best comics taping their very best material! 8pm - SoCap Comedy (Danforth at Broadview) Tix and info: andascotchegg.com

I am the official 2025 roast champion of Welland, Ontario! Thanks so much Rose City Comedy Collective for creating such a wonderful space and community (and for the most money I've ever made in comedy) and to my very funny and formidable opponents. (Roast Record update: 8-0)

I know there have been a lot of Frankenstein adaptations recently but I would definitely watch this one