Kanye: EVERYBODY THAT HAS A BABY GETS 1 MILLION DOLLARS Me: *Googles how to DIY pull out an IUD*

you know you’re fucked up when the Macarena hits harder than it ever has in 2020

just dropped a couple G’s on a passion project what the fuck did you do today? 💪🏻😤🐦

“Think I want to restart my animal crossing island” = go the fuck to bed Also quick reminder that blue lives don’t exist and therefore don’t matter unless smurfs which... I want to believe in smurfs. Love u all Cody OUT 🥰🥰🥰

haters 👏🏻 get 👏🏻 them 👏🏻 lips👏🏻 wet

lol hopefully everybody sees my going on less late night Twitter rants when I’m having a bad time with my brain I’m working on new outlets guys I swear 😂

I don’t even remember following pitchfork but I think they tapped my phone dude I swear to fucking god

Patrick Mahomes asked the Chiefs to turn Arrowhead Stadium into an Election Day voting site, but the election board said no due to a lack of voting machines. Instead of giving up, Mahomes bought new machines — splitting the "six-figure investment" with the Chiefs. He gets it.

finally

dicks out for Mahomes rn 🙏🏻