The price of Cisco SmartNet would lead you to believe it was staffed with wildly helpful, punctual, competent people who play well with others, especially others who are under pressure. Instead, it is likely to be the reason the next asset replacement cycle will not be Cisco.

Dear every sports league - Fck these exclusive deals with every subscription service under the sun. Every game you choose not to show me makes it easier to skip the others. Especially since the exclusives tend to be spotlight games. Just because you sphincters can afford it...

It would probably set the wrong tone if I bellowed into the phone "English! Do you speak it m[bleeeeeep]ker?" when cold calling sales weasels ask stupid questions that prove they weren't listening, only waiting for me to stop talking so they could speak...

I'm sitting in my house, being super annoyed that I can't watch a D3 field hockey game in NH because the college can't get their feed sorted. I'm at some cross between spoiled and first world problems.

J-E-S-T Jest, Jest, Jest!

Reading my timeline - and most of these folks wouldn't get signoffs from me on their Citizenship in the Nation Merit Badges... Did they not read the Constitution, or just fail to understand it...

In my work mailbox I get a bunch of stuff flagged as TLP-GREEN. If I look at it too quickly, my brain sees Charlie Stross's CASE-NIGHTMARE-GREEN instead.

Bookstores are my personal Vegas. I walk in with good intentions, leave broke, and have no memory of how it happened.

Hey online vendors (and a deliberate side eye to @ebay ) there should be a straightforward way to report "someone has opened an account using my email, and it wasn't me" without having to sign in to the account that my user didn't create. This surely isn't the first occurrence

Hey Chevrolet - fuck you and your engineers. Putting a wearable part like a thermostat where it takes 9.5 labor hours to replace is extortion, and fan service to your dealers' service departments. This is my last red Chevy pickup, breaking a streak that goes back to 1982.

...and now Spectrum is bringing the suck. At least I'm used to it from that bunch of clowns. Also design fail - auth not working, so shunt to AI chat. Which immediately demands i log in before it will tell me if there's an outage in my area. Heaven forbid there be humans

Make Common Sense common again.

Well, Grainger just lost a sale because they won't show me the results of a search unless I sign in/up. And I don't have the 1000 page catalog delivered regularly anymore. Closing a tab is super easy, finding new customers is not.

"Let the revels begin/Let the fires be started" Today's earworm, courtesy of Jim Stienman and the Streets of Fire soundtrack.

Hey Google - why don't your web pages for managing a Workspace honor your browser' settings for things like dark mode. Migraine suffering sysadmins want to know.

Watching the Geritol Bowl on Prime.

Dear Apple It should not be this f*ing hard to spend money with you people just because I need to use a PO. You've been trying to own the school market since I was in middle school almost 50 years ago. You should have it figured out, and it should...just work.

Come on CBS Sports , what is this crap? I don't want screaming stunts, I want a little analysis before my game starts.