Lately God hasn't been answering my prayers & I just know it's because He owes me $60 for that bag we split.

I'm tired of winning.

I don't think anyone got my joke about Trump last summer saying that we'd 'get tired of winning' if he was elected.

Debbie Does Tatooine #UnlikelyStarWarsSpinoffs

TV show: Spicer & Mooch - 2 lying idiots suck their boss's dick

TV show: The Hitlers - She's a middle-class suburban housewife, he tries to kill all the Jews

The names Brendan & Brandon are too similar, from now on you're all Kurt

You can't let some unhinged sociopath threaten Kim Jong-un like that.

The Spanish word 'lagunitas' to 'the gunitas'

The Chinese word for 'rental' in English means 'lentil'

What to do with an angry insane dictator with nuclear weapons. I got it, let's threaten him! x.com/realDonaldTrum…

Trump actually had the largest inauguration crowd of any pro-Nazi president.

Seems like no matter what Nazis do they're always remembered for that holocaust.

A guy in this hipster coffee shop pulled out a non-Mac laptop & they just plain blew his head off with a shotgun.

Remember when they said the President of the United States equated Nazi protesters with Nazis? Thank god that was FAKE NEWS!

I've been in a midlife crisis for the last 19 years.

FYI. He loved tweeting, only feels right to make sure y'all know he tweeted his final time. -justine x.com/SamNLulasMa/st…

A celebration of Gabe/cornlog's life will be held in NC on Sun Sept 17. He is survived by 2 children, a son age 11 & a daughter age 8.

Sean Cochran A. Hole We are making a book of stories about him for kids. Please add what he meant to you [email protected]

Final joke he would have loved: Picked up Gabe's remains from Walkers. "You can't make this shit up." (ashes @ Walker'sFuneralHome) -justine