The oranges in my fridge watching me take out yet another Kit Kat Chunky for dessert

🔔 | The drinks menu for Strangers' bar in the Houses of Parliament has been going viral for its cheapness. More below:

Understanding engineers: PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - I hit it and it started working HIGH IMPEDANCE AIR GAP - I forgot to plug it in ORGANIC GROUNDING - I got electrocuted KINETIC DISASSEMBLY - it blew up THERMAL SHOCK - it burned THERMALLY RECONFIGURED - it melted

“Let’s have a selfie, like the humans do.”

What if there were no hypothetical questions? #dadJoke #randomJokes

Name your best understated food combo, I'll go first: Tomatoes and Garlic

Imagine being working class and voting for this. His whole life spent mocking you. Or being a middle class paragon of virtue and thinking he shares your "values" There's holding your nose and there's willingly breaking your own legs with a mallet..

Just pondering LADbible, what's everyones net-worth? We talk about rich folks net-worth which as a basic calculation is their asset value minus any debt. So I'm thinking; considering the average Joe has a mortgage, car finance etc, is the majority totally net-worthless?

“Right, whose round is it?” Translation: It is not my round and I know whose round it is.

As the weather is so hot I asked the Hermes delivery driver if he'd like a bottle of cold water. When he said yes I dropkicked it over a fence into my neighbour's rose bush and told him I'd left it in a designated safe space.

😎 weird-jokes.com 😎 #jokes #memes #puns #fun #humor #groaners #laugh #prank #anecdotes

#SHIBARMY

On this day 1605 Guy Fawkes began his journey to London. It would take him several days because his legs were made of old tights stuffed with newspapers.

Plastic Madness.

A foreign student in Wisconsin decided to attend rallies for Harris and Trump just to observe what they were like. His friends told him not to go to the Trump rally because he would be "assaulted" or "shot" for being Asian. Instead, he found that everyone there was friendly,

🚨 HOW FAR FROM MY DOORSTEP 🚨 Official Home Office policy is NOT to tell local residents that a nearby hotel is being filled with illegal migrants. How far from my doorstep, is a website built to tell you just that Over 160 hotels added so far, this will be the most up to