Being a dumbass is exhausting

I’ve officially snapped.

Does anyone else ever relive a conversation in their head and can’t tell if they actually said that or if you just imagined it?

Assuming the best in people really keeps coming to bite me in the ass

Think I’m going to buy moldavite. Life is falling apart might as well go all the way.

Some guys on dating apps be looking like they’re 40 and their profile says their 21. Like I hope you’re lying about your age cuz if not that’s unfortunate.

I’m at least a little bit tired all the time

No one cares about your side profile

Be kind to and patient with kids. They’re doing their best.

I know I’m getting old cuz I’ve started complaining about city planning.

When Olivia Rodrigo said “Where’s my fucking teenage dream?” I felt that.

I feel like I’m washed up and a burn out but I didn’t even have a golden age

An older woman just tried to evangelize me at the coffee shop. I’m kind of flattered bc she must have saw me and thought that ones a heathen.

Me: *opens Spotify* Spotify:

My brain is a can of soup.

normalize not asking me what year of college i’m in

I’m enjoying the fireworks but not in a patriotic way

Can we talk about how emotionally distressing and even traumatic it can be to be ghosted by someone you thought was a close friend?

They just let anyone give Ted Talks these days, huh