You should get a lollipop after having an IUD put in

POV you’re the ghost in the haunted house I’m house sitting in: 🎶HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRIMACE (grimace grimace grimace) WHAT IS ON YOUR AMAZON WISHLIST (wishlist wishlist wishlist) 🎶

I be giving werthers originals that good suck

Lotioning myself up so I can slide into your dms

Cumming to my senses

Be a good neighbour to nature! 🐸🦋🦔 Mini-wetlands come in all shapes and sizes, but they all make a BIG difference to local wildlife. Here's how to make your own 👉 ow.ly/imZo50Pv4pL #MiniWetlands #WetlandsCan

My alters: hmmmm you can have a little feelings as a treat

The government doesn’t want you to know that being annoying is NOT against the law.

Elon I have you blocked and it does serve a purpose.

Personifying my IUD is maybe one of the best things I’ve ever done, love my little Pleembo

*bringing my friends into the bathroom* I found this scat! What kind of animal do you think it’s from?

Vintage Frog Flip Phone (1980s) 📞🐸

Watching people I hate tweet and get no likes makes me SO happy you have no idea

My Chicken Parmesan song is the official anthem for a new menu item at Noodles & Co! youtu.be/jWUOntlscFs?fe…

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