An odd thing about the pandemic is that I put on non-elastic waistbanded pants (jeans) this morning for the first time in six and it made me feel like I had something important to do.

Turns out I was ready to be a father after all...

Made it through ten minutes of the debates and couldn’t handle any more. Fortunately, the Great British Baking Show exists to help to escape from reality

When K-State’s Deuce Vaughn runs the ball in for a TD, can we all please agree to call it “dropping a Deuce” on the other team?

Just got my covid vaccine but forgot to take of selfie while getting it. Sorry everyone.

I think my patients would like and respect me more if they knew how good I was at conversing in memes

Instead of requiring masks for entry into the store, Bath and Body Works should have all patrons correctly identify a pumpkin spice candle to prove they don’t have anosmia before entering.

“I want a whiskey. Daddy, get one for me”. -my 2 1/2 year old daughter. #UhOh

Posted on Instagram- a frog that I caught today. Told wife I’ll get AT LEAST 50 likes. She asks...”do you even have 50 friends?”

I learned about Crumbl cookies because of product placement in a Bieber music video. I’m not proud of this, but I am glad that I found these delightful cookies.

Remember when your whole childhood basketball team had to run laps together because one kid wouldn’t stop goofing off? That’s what having all these mask mandates reinstated feels like, because of all the those people who won’t get the vaccine. #TakeOneForTheTeam

I wish we could use HSA’s for veterinary expenses. The government may not think so, but my dog thinks she’s a person.

I love both of my children, but it freaks me out how, for no clear reason, they both turn their crackers vertically to eat them.

Ice cream bar manufacturers are really making a statement about America when they list both the calories in a single item, AND THE AMOUNT OF CALORIES IN THE ENTIRE BOX on the packaging.

Mixed fruit pedialyte tastes like fruit stripe gum. Amazing and worth a try next time you need some quality rehydration

I can no longer eat cookies in front of my 16 month old without him noticing and wanting some. Another milestone we just reached: he now apparently can renew an HBO subscription all by himself

I love YouTube cooking shows. If I win the lottery, I’m gonna cut my hours by 50% at work and start my own cooking series for the sole purpose of calling it Doctored Up. Dunno what it’ll be about. Probably cook with processed stuff like ramen but make it healthier.

I sometimes wonder why anyone trusts me to take care of patients when I regularly do things like try to unlock my car by waving my hospital badge by the door handle

What is it about being a father (or just getting older?) that makes you feel compelled to tuck your shirt every time, including when wearing sweatpants? Maybe it’s only me

Today my (almost) two year old son barricaded me in the bathroom using a case of Diet Mountain Dew and then immediately stole my credit cards. The beginnings of a life of crime?