i hate it when imessage makes the emojis smaller if you send more than 3 cause like dont stifle my emotional expression

how life feels when you stop giving a fuck

I just cant believe my phone gone be dead February 13th-15th

a bum's fantasy

People literally just want to experience you and offer you nothing, that shit is dead.

y’all be FCKN & don’t kiss? how the fck y’all start sex a handshake ?

"Can I get to know you?" Then what?! I start begging for your attention? No, dear, let's stick to being quiz night buddies.

They’re hitting the same note

Been so worried about getting my life together I almost forgot I've achieved some of my childhood dreams

It’s time for us to be honest about Birria tacos.

i have never understood the statement "i don't agree with homosexuality"like... people have been gay and it's an objective fact of reality, it's like saying "i don't agree with mountains" lol, the mountains have been there and will still be there after you die, you sound foolish.

when teenage girls have crushes on you it’s your job as an adult male to ignore it and treat her like your little sister regardless of how old she looks. these ladies will grow up and be eternally grateful that you didn’t take advantage of their naivety

Nothing cracks me up like my life. What the hell is going on? 😭🤣

y’all ever smoke pissed off and feel the hate leave your body

when I don’t have no weed I don’t let sht slide tf you say last week btch

c'mon childproof weed packaging, you know it's me

Turns out I’m gonna be okay 🤧🤣

Or sardines. 🤮