BREAKING NEWS: House Republicans have voted DJ Envy speaker of the house

Can Desus bring Mero on as a guest or temp corespondent JUST for the jokes?! Please please please 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Clare Malone I read the story in full, I've seen Hasan Minhaj's video in full, and I've got to say you're full of nonsense. Minhaj would be kind to not sue you and The New Yorker.

You know, some people are not built for natural deodorant.

M4 Bus #438 on the 8:30pm route in Manhattan by 145th St - Somone book this man for the next Fast & Furious. He playing with our lives... MTA

Can Uber stop charging folks a temporary fee that's equivalent to the cost of a ride?! Why can't that temp hold be for a lesser amount!? Why I gotta deal with $100s being held for 3-5 business days just off 3 rides in one evening!? Something about this practice feels illegal 😤

Historic Vids Gonna tell my kids these were the Avengers

OK, let me solve American "economic anxiety" very quickly. I'm gonna sort it out for you in less than ten tweets and then you won't have that excuse anymore. You ready? Here goes. The cause is capitalism and greed. That's it. Nothing else. Just that.

7. Even if they sell you out over and over, year after year, decade after decade. It's like you're incapable of recognizing bullshit, which is a bad handicap for a working person to have. It's how you ended up here, with stagnant wages at a precarious job in a rotting community.

Latinos for Trump: He repaid you with mass deportations Veterans for Trump: He cut your services & fired tens of thousands of veterans. Women for Trump: He took your human rights BEFORE the election and you still voted for him. Black Trump Voters: He's wiping out your history.

Luigi Mangione faces the possibility of the death penalty, yet he is not allowed to meet privately with his attorneys. Additionally, his legal team has not received all the evidence, including basic police reports. Keep talking about Luigi!

Correcting The Narrative & Calling Out The Agenda To Destroy The Black Family

White people lynched Black people, and brought their kids to watch. They gave away body parts as souvenirs. And never sat a day in jail. And have the nerve to call our people violent criminals. The caucasity of it all is astounding

Ben Stiller Thanks for calling that out Ben. Variety do better…

For two supposedly republican straight men, Donald J. Trump and Elon Musk are acting gayer than two gay homies being petty at work. Go off queens 💅

As always, the moral of the story is if you show up to protests to harass people and impersonate police or associate with far-right groups, you will find your name and picture here for the world to see — and it won’t be fun. 5/

Ouch!

It's true, and his D**ck is bigger than yours too, you baby-shrimp Yte 😊

Andrew Cuomo Andrew Cuomo? Dude who killed thousands of grandparents and kept sexually assaulting his female staffers? The man who protected Harvey Weinstein? The man who withheld covid aid from NYC (same city he’s now running to be mayor of) because he was mad at de Blasio? Same man who

This man is a menace lmfaoooook