Ordered my wedding crocs, ready to go.

Jake just told the cat that he is “doing so well” so the bachelor party was a success.

To celebrate Will’s birthday, I walked in a mall and tried to not scream at everyone

Crying at the bank three days before my wedding, not stressed at all.

New idea for my honeymoon, someone convince Jake

My florist really heard my request of “too many flowers” and delivered.

It’s like rain on your friggin wedding day

Oh no did anyone see me cry how embarrassing

One week of ‘marriage’ is Jake yelling quotes from the movie Savages.

What did we do before voice notes

Completely forgot that dead bugs rained down on us last nite until I just shook my head and they all fell out of my hair RIP RIP @cpattsays HG

Is there a way that I can make fun of Trump without having to constantly look at photos of his horrible face

Technically I WAS watching with a kid and she went to bed and I just didn’t turn it off

Look like Rita Ora how to

Don’t you dare suggest to HG that fall is around the corner.

Jake every time I yell about celeb gossip

Jake is being annoying so I hid his phone when he wasn’t looking and he won’t realize it’s gone until he reads this tweet