Kyle McCord and the Ohio State offense pre-game before putting up 7 first half points against Rutgers #Zone6 #DevelopedHere

Throwing a fit on family vacation in Hawaii because sports betting is not legal here

Me dipping my Biscoff cookies into my Delta coffee

In Hawaii blacked out on 3 Kona Big Waves arguing that Moana is a system disney princess

Looking at my keys 12 beers deep

Mom: it’s so cute how you’re rooting for Purdue Me (with Purdue -3.5 and a 24oz Kona Big Wave deep): haha yeah

It’s 7AM in Maui, I’m about to wake up the whole AirBNB screaming “I WANT TO DIE” after our first offensive play isn’t a touchdown

This is how he’s going to walk into Geico headquarters every morning at 9AM

“Ryan, why didn’t you go for it on 4th and 1 from the 48?” “Because I couldn’t punt it from the 49” - Ryan Day 2023

I’m down astronomically bad, my Spotify Wrapped is identical to every person on Instagram that I hate

2024 resolutions: - grow mustache - vape less - smoke more cigarettes

Got an iPad for Christmas, now I can lose money on FanDuel but on a bigger screen 😎

If Alabama loses this game I vow to never drunkenly sing the ad libs of Dixieland Delight

Me when the song goes “Spend my dollar…”

Standing desks are crazy because I’m leaning on it like I’m waiting for a drink and the bartender refuses to look at me

The Weekend Update joke swap but it’s Shane and Bowen Yang

Please play Big Bootie Mix at my funeral

*gets T-boned by a drunk driver” My friend who was driving: “Cal, are you okay?” Me who just watched 6 straight seasons of Drive to Survive: “Looks like we’re gonna have to retire the car. Box, box.”

Lee Corso is more competent than Livvy Dunne making picks

If Jalen hurts was my QB I’d also be reading Colleen Hoover on the bench