Social media been so much more fun since I started assuming absolutely everything on here is satirical

Whole league on notice. Happy wild card weekend. Excited to kick my feet up and find out who dares to visit the bank next week.😈🔒 IG: @ brain_freeze.art

Dan Campbell pulling Montgomery for Craig Reynolds at the goal line is the biggest bet slip massacre I have witnessed in my life

What’s it going to take to get this on Spotify?

POV: There is hardcore discourse on Twitter

Last week it was, “How can this nightmare be my life?” This week it’s the leash song I dread next week

Liquid Death still the worst thing to ever happen to hardcore

Criminal Mind 306 Hardcore . . . linktr.ee/criminalmind

Abolish Apple Watch Hardcore

Emma isn’t letting me put bullet holes on our wedding invitations so I’m going to apply for the next season of Love is Blind

Who would have thought people could be so annoying about the sun? Thank god we don’t have to deal with that again for a while

New Taylor Swift album is somehow more Lana Del Rey than Lana Del Rey. These track titles? Take her to court Miss Lana

Thinking about my past coworker (20) flexing about hooking up with the guy from LMFAO (40-some) when they played Regina, Saskatchewan. So sick

Made a tattoo I feel good about it. Follow the boneyard @ brainfreezetattoo on IG 🪄🪄🪄

Love that cinemas switched to paper straws so they could put 30x the amount of plastic into dishes for elder millennials and flesh light popcorn buckets

I don’t know who needs to hear this (yes I do), but you can post a band you like without adding, “my friends in…”

Couldn’t think of a better way to start the season. Let’s go Baltimore Ravens !!! IG: @ brainfreezetattoo

Criminal Mind, literally