“I don’t make plans because plans never work out.” What I heard: You will never put in effort to make me happy. If anything you will be calling me for last minute plans bc obviously I have nothing better to do than sit by the phone waiting on you.

#Oscars 2024 acting quartet.

Hi cousins. Would I be wrong to slap this man who just came into my job?? His wife is pushing a stroller with a baby so fresh it has the new car smell. Meanwhile the husband is “jokingly” telling her everything on her looks awful on her and that she’s so fat 🧍🏽‍♀️

@MrsBundrige I really hope that woman is doing well today and that coworker is still haunted.

Walt Disney Studios I must be deaf

September 11th famous for having nothing going on

does this seal clapping performance that unmarried childless tradwife wannabes in their 30s do actually work because i’ve never seen success stories from these broads

who are these people

the male mental health crisis is men thinking theyre entitled to own a woman and thinking the patriarchal victory family should be their life goal

The cops crossed paths with him right after one of the murders but left him alone because they were looking for a black man, despite every surviving victim describing him as the whitest white man to ever white man, which he himself mocked them for in a letter.

post-lobotomy cat could NEVER wear those heels to the classroom

*breaks into house unannounced* *calls employee’s newborn a deformed freak* *sings about himself* *leaves*

Hospital notes: - Overheard a group of nurses hysterically laughing over a patient who had went to the bathroom on themselves, and proceeded to let them lay in it for over 10 minutes before responding. - Patients screaming in agony while nurses scroll TikTok.

omg when did this happen??

just got revenge on someone who wronged me 6 years ago. never be relaxed ever. i’m coming

this trend is so revealing😭

she kind of just did a masterclass in how to deal with these people

Being able to afford what you want without bothering anyone

when your music is on shuffle & all the bangers line up one after the other