i cut together the best egg scenes in movies

please, interpret my dream of a dog that was trying to eat a balloon

my loch ness souvenir magnet is too weak to hold anything. angry

🌻🌛🌝🪁

very pleasant stuff

seeing the teens pop wheelies feels like a good economic omen

i think orchard is a really nice name for a baby

the best indicator that your body feels safe where you are is spontaneous silliness

every time i see a picture of dali now i think about something i read by someone he knew socially, who reported that he rarely bathed & was very smelly & greasy i have looked for the source again but can’t find it so you’ll just have to trust me

on the upside people have been extremely kind today— letting each other go in traffic, heavy discounts at my eye doctor, warm greetings between strangers in public. i dunno but hey, that’s somethin’ 🥲

many strange things have occurred in my life but possibly the strangest is that ringo starr owes me $100

why do we have a head because we need to kiss

new year’s is either for soup and drugs with close confidants or a rager at a total stranger’s posh house and there shall be no in-between

In 2025 we're putting our groceries in paper bags with a baguette and celery stalks poking out

too many men think they’re kermit

This is the way, Ubuweb.

please read & understand, my friends

many restaurants have a fun room and a not so fun room and there is nothing sadder than getting punted to the latter

April is going to feel like this

feels so good to love your mechanic