Someone just pointed out that countrymusic is just farm dubstep and now i can’t unhear it #daily #thought

Yes i watch shrek everyday

Me: you wanna see my seal he can talk Her: sure Me: what’s the 18th letter Seal: AAAR Me: what comes after Q Seal: AAAR Her: are you kidding me. that’s not even.. Me: what do pirates say

Even i feel roasted

Biggest twitter event in history #makeithappen

jahtabszjdindehjdikahehdaeidnfznna HEEEEEEEEEEY MACARENA #relatable

100% original

WELL FUCK.

U high bro? #high

Wakey wakey.

Filming today #school #movie

#relatable

Being a sleepy person with a busy life is very hard

Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. “I killed your friend, here hold him.”

Couldn’t be more accurate

Flipping through the exam questions trying to find one u know how to do

doctor: look i know we used to date but let’s keep this professional her: ok, did i break anything doctor: *throws down x rays* my heart Stacy

Screw it… If Rams win the Super Bowl I’m giving one person $10,000 who likes and retweets this Tweet. Must be following me and @SimplebetHQ so we can DM you if you win. GO.

Okay last one.. If Joe Burrow throws a touchdown pass I’ll give 3 ETHEREUM to someone who retweets and favorites this tweet. Must be following me and Anti Fund so we can DM the winner. GO.

Fuck it… since I’m drunk and happy… follow @mostvpromotions and retweet this and we will pick one of you on Friday to get $10,000, and some MVP gear & signed gloves from me. I’m literally giving away so much money today. Follow Most Valuable Promotions and retweet this to win.