I wonder if Ian still feels guilty now that he has served 61 years of his time

We’ve started up a Pretenders Tribute band. It’s called The Pretenders.

My band is thinking of playing this new country western bar. The owner said, we have two rules here: three chord bands, preferably C F and G, and no one under 21. I said my younger cousin wants to see us play. You sure you can’t allow a minor?

Reading a trial transcript- “Q: Tell me about your vision. “A: I don’t know the exact numbers but I believe I’m shortsighted.”

Germany (1939): We are taking control of Poland and its 35 million people England (righteously): You mustn’t do that it is wrong to control an entire nation and its people India’s 300 million people (collectively): ?????????

You know what’s a riot? 3 dyslexics. Doc 

Communist Lottery: Everyone who buys a $1.00 ticket wins $0.50.

If you were wondering the difference between “and” and “or,” read this US Supreme Court argument (don’t worry it’s only 122 pages): supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments…

There’s one word in English I know of that follows the Romance Language practice of matching an adjective to the noun gender. That word is Blond/Blonde. Are there others?

Looking forward to all the self titled scientist geeks who will take a one week break from their astrological musings to become astronomers

Did you know that in France during the Middle Ages they designed armor for children? They took infantry to a whole new level! Doc 

That last Lightning was <1K ft away!

She just said, “This is textbook work so far,” when commenting on men’s trampoline. I went to school for a lot of years. I can safely say in all those years, I never saw a trampoline textbook. I would’ve changed majors then and there.

It takes up to 500 years for 90% of the plastic bags to decompose. Except, apparently, for the handles, approximately 75% of which decompose within the 3 seconds it takes me to get from my driveway to my front door.

F1 qual in the US is on ESPNU. Red flag atm

Standards Lowered For Second Search Through Fridge

The US is the I in Mex I Can

It would be interesting if any person who claims to be a sovereign citizen would be found to have renounced their US citizenship which would make them deportable for many criminal offenses.