never in my 3 days of trading have I ever seen anything like this

Underappreciated aspect of the Clinton/Bush years is how much of it was rainforest themed. You could expect toucans and spider monkeys to show up in any cartoon, cereal commercial, or GBA tie-in game. Try launching a biome-themed restaurant today and you'll be laughed out of town

None of your emails are finding me well

me: what’s the last episode of this show that I watched hulu: I don’t see how that’s any of your business

There is absolutely no reason that “spring forward” shouldn’t happen on a Monday at 4pm.

the worst parts of a breakup are 1. right after 2. 4 years later when you find a perfect meme that only they will find funny

neither of these candidates are existing in the context of all in which they live

remember: when a band skips your city on tour it is always personal and they always hate you specifically

I can play it by ear if I have advance notice that we are going to be playing it by ear

ohh my god you're a verb guy? should we tell? should we throw? should we invite

in light of recent events i have decided to become evil

“I don’t have a dog in this fight” : normal, if grim “I don’t have a horse in this race” : less common, but meaning obvious “I don’t have a dog in this race” : subverts expectations; strong imagery “I don’t have a horse in this fight” : spellbinding, transcendent synthesis

before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid physique and relatively clean house