And Billy Joel…who did NOT start the fire.

we used to have dudes named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart now we got dudes named michael

Cracker manufacturers every year

this is the original knives out

600,000 children go to private schools and two million kids go hungry. So tell me why we subsidise private school fees but not free school meals.

my ancestors never dreamed of having this many tabs open at once

Britain is great

The holy trinity.

inside of you are two bears

“Awk it’s Pennywise! Sure you know Pennywise. Fella with the balloon. Loves scaring the daylights out of weans.”

I think the proper term is cashier

ferrero rochers sat in a box knowing they’re that bitch during any celebration

there is one king I will swear allegiance to

and if the kieran culkin bus crashes into us to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die

how does anyone get anything done ? i spend most of my time thinking about how in an hour it will be an hour later

god made men and sent bob mortimer as an apology

Miranda would be fuming