The last time he played a game he murdered someone, and he doesn't know what monopoly is so— Back to the underworld it is.

And to think, he killed someone over dice. This sounds like it'd make him a serial killer.

Good evening to everyone but Apollo.

And Zeus. Zeus sucks, and not in a good way.

He's still confused about the whole thing.

Oh, hi, Flower Boy.

Gods. He doesn't remember Pat's name, does he?

It's fine. Nobody ever does.

Patroclus. Y'know, Achilles' shadow.

He's not, actually, but books and films seem to think that's all he is.

Aw. Someone remembers him. Not that he's at all bitter.

Fathers, huh? He remembers his. Menoetius. Not the Titan— at least, he doesn't think so.

He will be forever amused by his being one of the fifty suitors of Helen.

She's— not exactly his type.

/ will you STOP REMINDING ME THAT TWEET EXISTS

/ WHY

/ why are you so mean

People give him way too much credit. He's not that nice.

Grapes are definitely better in liquid form.

He's said it before but he's saying it louder now because what else are the gods going to do to him? Zeus is a little bitch and Apollo is, impossibly, an even /worse/ bitch.