SATIRE: Loma Linda Releases Tick That Makes You Vegetarian atoday.org/satire-loma-li…

Congregation Faces Existential Crisis as Pastor Transcends Noon Sermon Limit atoday.org/satire-congreg…

Satire: GC Mistakenly Sends Out Second Coming Alert atoday.org/satire-gc-mist…

Global “Pray for Hotter Men in Church Sabbath” Announced atoday.org/satire-global-…

SATIRE: Raising Hands In Worship Identified As Unpardonable Sin atoday.org/raising-hands-…

Adventists Rescued as Practice Run For the Hills Goes Wrong atoday.org/satire-adventi…

SATIRE: Clapping Sound Heard From Rocks as Adventist Leaders Ban Church Applause atoday.org/satire-clappin…

Satire: Adventists Reminded Not to Bring Burnt Offerings to Potluck atoday.org/satire-adventi…

SATIRE: Trump Promises to Build Wall Around Adventist Subdivision in Heaven atoday.org/satire-trump-p…

SATIRE: 3ABN to be Nominated for Historical Emmy atoday.org/satire-3abn-to…

SATIRE - Survey: Most Adventists Not Sure What They Believe (But They’re Sure Everyone Else is Wrong) atoday.org/satire-survey-…

SATIRE: Pacific Press Releases “50 Shades of Gray - Acceptable Church Hair” atoday.org/satire-pacific…

SATIRE: GC Recommends Extra Long Skirts for Maximum Modesty During Time of Trouble atoday.org/satire-gc-reco…

SATIRE: Loma Linda to be Fitted With Large Plastic Bubble atoday.org/satire-loma-li…

SATIRE - Member Has Lowered Standards Enough to Date Guy From Church atoday.org/satire-member-…

SATIRE: Adventist Town Gripped by Sunday Law Fears as Local Bakery Announces Sunday Closure atoday.org/satire-adventi…

SATIRE: White Estate Ditches Plans to Make EGW Smile in Historic Photos After Kate Middleton Fiasco atoday.org/satire-white-e…

SATIRE - Loma Linda Centenarian on Fourth Husband Worried About Meeting All Her Spouses in Heaven atoday.org/satire-loma-li…

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Day 1 of #GCSession2025 delivered pivotal moments, featuring Ted Wilson's direct remarks on vaccination and a decisive vote against adding immunization to the agenda. Dive into all the key moments in our full live blog recap. atoday.org/live-gc-sessio…