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I don’t know what Engineers do and I’m at peace with that

Not me being the only person emotionally dancing to ‘deja vu’ at this house party right now #triplejhottest100

Remember when Kylie Jenner told us she’d never had lip filler and it was all makeup? And we just BELIEVED HER and started drawing on our chins

This is so niche but I really miss Pasta Pantry’s pumpkin batard

Me: I don’t do Valentine’s Day. Me when my boyfriend doesn’t get me flowers on the 14th:

Nothing feels as good as just word vomiting out a text to an ex then hitting send without re-reading/fearing for the future

Someone near me has a child called Bradigan, this is a crime

The crippling fear of running into a distant acquaintance on public transport and having to make small talk for 45 minutes

All 70s songs by men are like “babe I love you / but I must leave / to peen my way around America / bye”

ME ITS ME

When did you realise you were no longer *the youth*, mine was when I got excited about the Woolies half price sales every week

My period app is so savage. ENJOY YOUR MENSTRUATION YOU SAD BITCH

Are you a Love Actually family or a The Holiday family at Christmas? these are the only two options

Nickelback must make royalties exclusively from Australian pub playlists

What’s your most common fight with your partner and why is it “are you mad at me yes you are I can tell don’t lie”

I love voice messages because I just get to talk exclusively about myself for 8 minutes and 45 seconds

"oh sorry, I thought we were just hanging out" #TheBachelorsAU

Jed's out here like "I'll regret it forever if I don't propose to this woman who specifically asked me not to propose to her on national TV" FHFKGHSKHD #TheBachelorsAU

All of these break ups are triggering memories of every situationship guy that told me they "wished" they could fall in love with me #TheBachelorsAU

Everyone else in headscarves: Sofia Loren chic, effortless prairie Me: jon bon jovi