back on twitter! happy hollandaise!

yee: haw

y’alls cute grl sneezes be like

sorry i didn’t text back i was taking the pacer test

i’m Restless Yogurt

give me a sunburn so i know it’s real

the houston trader joe’s be hittin different

gooooob morning. the human starts every day. with a cup of warm bean juice. they say it makes them fast. i tried to sneak a taste. but was quickly denied. this is far from fair. i wanna be fast too

Me after I eat all the cookie dough pieces from the carton of ice cream & stick it back in the freezer

Half asleep in shavasana & Miley starts playing. Not sure if the intention was to wake up in the club or on our mats.

the BEST moment in bachelorette history HANDS DOWN #TheBachelorette

it’s the 5th of july and i’m feeling flirty

wow life is so much cooler than it was a year ago shoutout to life you go life

I am genuinely surprised that the #1 killer of humans isn't sneezing while driving. #LateNightThoughts

@touchyfeeleyy wait stats so wet rn. this is great.

What do you call an apricot in jail

Apricaught

what's cooler than being cool? Ice cold. alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alrig #2MANYCHAINZ

if trader joes employees checking u out don't say I love these about your food at least 3 items just drop everything and leave bc u effed up

Thought I saw a dead animal in the middle of the road, but no- it was a weave.