If anyone wants to know how my life is going at the minute, I’ve just bought a Slipknot T-shirt

Trump being dead rumours and tweets don’t just don’t hit the same as royal family ones do they

Treating myself to a post hair cut pint while I watch the first half, seen three fights, it’s 12.30am

Just bought slacks from marks and spencers, it’s officially over for me

When did united start singing ‘country roads’ and why is it the worst thing ever

my nan started doing that, she lasted about 6 weeks after it

I’d say dressing up for comic con is a worse crime

don't want to sound like a bozo, but I forgot my fork so decided to use my penknife, my tongue is now bleeding

That new Newcastle striker looks like a lad who only eats ‘dirty fries’

Pep when city concede

That first half

Arsenal turning up to away grounds and playing like terrorists is why they’ll never win the league

Artetanyahu playing the most boring football away from home is it

In a fitting tribute to Princess Di, WWE are having an absolute car crash of a show in Paris

Nikki Bella though

we once signed Ricky Lambert

Seems we have some sort of Mexican standoff