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Genuinely the most we've ever heard from Emma. I'm guessing she survives, but Lord Sugar does the old 'you're project manager next week' trick. #TheApprentice

#TOTP

Return of the cack, more like. #TOTP

Less Night Nurse, more mogadon. #TOTP

'Knee massage'.

Jon Bore Jovi, more like. #TOTP

Genius.

I thought I detected the hand of Cowell in this pile of old nonsense. #TOTP

Spain have got Melania singing for them. #Eurovision

Iceland's entry is if Fisherman's Friends took MDMA. #Eurovision

Latvia. #Eurovision

The Thin White Duce. #Eurovision2025

Armenia. If OK Go did #Eurovision

Christ alive, this has taken a turn. #Eurovision2025

Don't forget UK, the public vote could change everything. #Eurovision

Shame to see they ran out of winner's medals. At least Timo Werner got his. #EuropaLeagueFinal

Must be a gag in this.