she hud on my sucker til i proxy

new 5-layer screen print: a compendium of southern signage. 18” x 24”

going grouch mode

told my dad the post office opened 30 minutes late this morning and he had a normal and regular response

jobs are like dating apps but for finding people you hate

just caught myself thinking “i’d be so pretty if i lost weight”

a lady skipped me in line at the post office and i said nothing because who gives a shit? and then i guess the guilt hit because she turned around and made a big scene about how i could go in front of her and i said “no it’s fine” and now she’s mad at ME

i went to a mocktail bar and all the drinks made fun of my stupid haircut

i just drove past someone whose dog was pooping and they had the bag held open under its butthole and were catching the poop as it fell. what the fuck is happening today

i’ve had panic attacks in comedy clubs you’ve never even heard of

we should have another Day the Music Died

just searched the word “perfection” in my photos to find this sign and alongside it my phone also pulled up photos of my perfect boyfriend… the computers are smarter than we think

i love when i ask a clarifying question and get treated like a dumbass. like yeah, i know, that’s why i asked the question!!

my boyfriend bought me a box of poptarts in a flavor that i don’t like and i ate the whole box in one sitting to make him think i loved them

most people don’t automatically clock me as white trash but earlier i stopped the car and turned around because i saw a dale earnhardt intimidator camaro

i thought this was phoebe bridgers

honest to god this is going so coo coo rn

what the sugar ants in my apartment see when i find them on my counter