Is there any way to make it warmer in here? *rubs arms* Well I could set the Fucking table on fire! #shitiwanttosay

Wearing shorts to work. Might get fired, might not give a fuck 👍🏼

I was sad to discover that the rocket made it back to Earth and did not wipe out my restaurant. Happy Mother’s Day!

Idk what's worse, being at work with multiple assholes or coming home to one asshole that makes up for a whole shift's worth. #fml

'Cause you know how it is, we gotta hustle those tips & make that money, money, money🎶💵

TGI-Fuck You! I hate this fucking job!

This snow bullshit has got to stop! ⛄️🔫

I work in the ugliest fucking restaurant in the world. You would really think it's the theme of the joint.

Looks like I found the employee handbook.

Attention owners! Not everybody is trying to steal from you! Get over yourself 👊.

Why am I not a rocket scientist?

When the Sunday crowd prays for "daily bread" they really mean it! #cheap #bread #serverproblems #tip20percentplease

I hate this place! Cannot stress that enough.

Sitting in the parking contemplating suicide, like I do before every shift. #hatemyjob

If I could just win the lottery all my problems would be solve. #serverproblems

How many in your party? A bunch (Laughs). No, muther fucker, flowers and Bradys come in a bunch! Now give me a goddamn number! #ihateyou

All of my people are about to quit and probably fuck me out of a vacation, for which in turn I will burn this muther fucker down.

Every now and then it would be nice if people would acknowledge that you're on the same damn planet as they are.

Hey, my bitches! I've been away for too damn long!