[LEBOWSKI] I’ll blame none for the loss of my legs. Some man of Orient birth robbed them from me as spoils of war;

[LEBOWSKI] faith, who stole my legs stole trash, and I sallied forth and achieved in any aspect. Some are born achievers, some achieve greatly, and some have achievement thrust upon ‘em. Beseech me not!

[THE KNAVE] Ah, a pox upon’t!

[LEBOWSKI] Indeed! ‘A pox upon’t!’ ‘Tis thine answer to everything.

[LEBOWSKI] Your merry revels have ended, sir. Let us condole the knight. The rogues lost;

[LEBOWSKI] the rogues have always lost, will always lose, and so it will be tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. [Exit LEBOWSKI; enter BRANDT]

[BRANDT] Good Master Lebowski. Did you enjoy meeting my honourable lord? [THE KNAVE] Truly, sir, a nobleman most gentle; He bade me take any rug in the castle. [Exeunt]

[BRANDT] I pray you, Knave, remember us in future visitations.

[THE KNAVE] Faith, surely when next I near this neighbourhood, I will call upon his lordship’s good honour, and beseech his refreshment.

[BONNIE sings] ‘With toe-nails of verdant and forester’s green With a hey-nonny-no and a hey-nonny-nonny Blow thrice on my toe-nails and I’ll be thy Queen And ever preserve me as thine, blithe and Bonnie.’ I pray you, sir, blow.

[THE KNAVE] Marry! But here’s a lady of good interest, whose toe-nails are the very green of the common hump, where grass doth grow and where country lovers do foot. Whither shall I blow, maid? For I am but a traveling tumbleweed, and may well be carried by any wind, e’en south.

[BONNIE] I mean only the wind in thine own maw in this case; blow, then, serve your turn and cool my hot temper. [KNAVE] Sayest thou that I must blow upon thy foot, painted lady? [BONNIE] I ask this deed of you thrice now; and that which a damsel craves constantly…

[BONNIE] is the service of a tongue most moved in capability. Look to my foot; I cannot reach that far. Blow, wind! [KNAVE] I fear thy charms. Will not thy consort mind If I bestow his lady fair my wind? [BONNIE] Nay, for there’s naught for which Oliver carest;

[BONNIE] He mindeth not, for he’s a nihilist. [KNAVE] O exhausting condition!

[BRANDT] Our court’s noble guest not tarry, Lady Lebowski. [KNAVE] Lady Lebowski? Then thou art Bonnie? A merry wife indeed!

[BONNIE] And a lady of good housekeeping and agricultural besides, minded to economy and all practicalities. Were thou to bring a gentle cock to my bed-chamber, I might help him to success for ten shillings.

[KNAVE] Such a lady of talents I have scarcely seen. [BRANDT] Yes, a most forthright jest! Free of spirit and good generosity, she is the nimble nymph of Neptune, and we mark her with good humour.

[BONNIE] Free of spirit but ne’er free of flesh. Were I to regale thee with parts of my humour, I would not bid Brandt hear the play ere he paid a shilling himself. [BRANDT] Hark, a marvelous jest;

[BRANDT] But, I pray you, we dare not tarry. Come, Knave. [THE KNAVE] Yea, I shall come, and then return with money, Or lose the labour’d love of fair Bonnie.

[WALTER] Thy tale is the stuff of dreams, and yet a waking dream of will. I had those words under a spreading tree in Jerusalem.