If you like your meat medium/medium-rare but your S/O needs everything well done and dried out to shit.. It’s never going to work out. #TheMoreYouKnow

Managers should have to be re-qualified or checked every year to remain in the role. Too many managers keep their title and coast by as they grow more entitled, detached, and stubborn/stuck in their ways over the years. /rant

When will Capri Sun come up with an adult line with alcohol that will give us 80s and 90s kids some much needed joy ??

My absolute favorite is when I walk up to a bar and the bartender is on the phone and I wait until they’re done to finally acknowledge me. Cherry on top is acting annoyed they had to put their phone away in order to tend to me.

Biggest drinking night of the year is upon us. Lots of amateurs come out of the woodwork, and I see Blackout Wednesday trending, so good luck to you industry folks working tonight!! Be safe! #bartenderproblems #fohproblems

Eclipse drinking game: You and your friends, each with 5 beers, waterfall around the group non-stop from beginning of totality to the end of total eclipse. Just absolute mayhem for 4 minutes. You’re welcome. #Eclipse2024 #Eclipse

Finally tried TB’s cheesy street chalupas, definitely worth getting. However, I noticed that there was noticeably LESS SAUCE in my TACO BELL packets compared to my previous experiences. Is this a thing? Have they lessened the contents or did I get shorted packs? Taco Bell

Me tuning into #TysonPaul: PLEASE DON’T BE FROZEN. My Netflix:

Just a tad dumber than the people that seat themselves. #restaurantproblems #bartenderproblems #serverlife #FOH

I don’t have a ‘goblin mode’ or even a ‘gremlin mode’, at most I go ‘Keebler Elf mode’ and that’s gonna have to be enough.

Call me crypto because I am getting tanked.

Call me NERF because I’m about to head into a ridiculously tight SPIRAL.

Draw game/lottery customers are the worst at the bar. Yes, I see you waving your tickets and money at me. And yes, I know the game is about to start. But it’s busy, these people have been waiting longer than you for a drink.. And you don’t tip.

20 years from now there will be a scandal about how a presidential candidate harassed an AI girlfriend bot with chat log proof leaked by said AI chatbot.

Hey, Grok, who was the most famous person to visit my profile? It doesn't need to be a mutual, don't tag them, just let me know who. Thanks!

Hey Grok - any way to bring up my old MySpace profile or find my old MySpace pictures ??

I’m that song you skipped and later found out it was absolutely terrible.

I order through a restaurant’s site to pick up soup and rice, at checkout am asked if I want to tip 18%, 20%, or 22%. I overtip when I dine in & when someone delivers, but I draw the line picking up my own food. I never expected a tip from people picking up their to-go orders.

Imagine posting your funniest and most creative tweet/status today, and thanks to this Verizon outage, nobody sees it and it’s missed and tossed into the social media abyss. #SOS

The Shane Gillis show at MSG tonight felt like one huge ad for WALMART clothing. Big ‘dad at a picnic’ meets ‘Midtown unhoused sleeping on sidewalk’ chic. Obviously, funny dudes, but damn boys.