Hopefully WhatsApp sorts it’s shit out soon otherwise I may have to talk to the wife 😩

I asked my housemate to look after my plants whilst I’m away for the next couple of weeks. He sent me these.

Here’s the people that are going to save the planet, after they arrest this piece of broccoli. Reminds me of the last drama lesson of the term when the teacher lets you wear any costume you want. & do crack.

"worst. ride. ever" 📹: instagram.com/justanimls

I just donated a special premature nappy to a UK hospital by tweeting #PampersForPreemies - show your support and do the same! 👶

x.com/ftbIswanny/sta…

just caught my boyfriend zooming in on this and his excuse was ‘wanted to see what books they were reading’ cba

Fingers crossed Boris puts a ban on quizzes

Just 🤯 x.com/LeauxFi/status…

JUST HAPPENED: Captain Sir Tom Moore has his knighthood conferred by the Queen 🗡 Captain Sir Tom Moore

Boris hates press conferences

I’ve been growing tits for years and I can drop a mean mangina. Getting straight on this only fans business

Must stop listening to cheesy songs now I know Spotify is watching

Electric car charging cables are the tampon strings of the car world

Praying merc announce George as their driver for #AbuDhabiGP 🙏

Just remembered I was so Battered last night I marinated my dinner whilst it was still in the packaging😬

My wife thinks they have a massive stamp to put the words ‘bus stop’ on the roads.....