Donald Trump has entered the - Why did #Sandy bend the crane debate? He would know. Only an expert could keep his bird's nest in place.

#IDidntTextYouBackBecause I did not want the #NSA to read it.

#DavidLetterman is going to retire in 2015. Politicians, Sports stars and anyone that has been on Reality TV are said to be VERY relieved.

The secret to my success is that I bit off more than I could chew and chewed as fast as I could. #GoodByeDave

#MyBestFriendsAre Paul and Regis.

I like the night life Baby, She says Let's Go. #LateShow

#BadJobIn5Words Robbing Peter to pay Don.

#GetElectedIn3Words Throw Free Lines

Gone with the Beard. #MyLifetimeMovieIsNamed

#IfPoliticiansWereComedians they would hand out blows to create jobs and only ever start wars when the Tivo is stuck on pause.

#MoreTrustedThanHillary Milli Vanilli claiming they are Siri

Donald Trump is set to release the app - TrumpemonGo Using the phone camera you just roam around and throw TrumpBalls at things to fix them.

#MakeANerdUnhappy Telling them that NASA really stands for Nerds Always Sleep Alone

Planet Earth #YourFired #ElectionNight

Out Tweet Trump #MyGoalsIn3Words

The Don Nohart Show #Presidentialtvshows

Trump made me do it. #BadExcusesForDrinking

Little did they know when the Debt Ceiling hits 20. Parental Discretion Advised.

What the Rich Won't Tell You. Ill swap your Fonzie for a one time only, never to be seen again, Ponzi.

Donald Trump has said he will end the Green Card lottery. If only he could end the Presidential lottery he was lucky enough to win. #StateofOurUnion