Exactly…same gender double standards in both places

David Mandel I used to work with DV offenders. Many people ask “why doesn’t she leave?” I asked “why doesn’t he stop?”

⬇️⬇️THIS⬇️⬇️
Why do we blame women for violence perpetrated by men?

Domestic violence perpetrators regularly use “welfare checks” to harass and intimidate survivors

Raise standards for men/husbands/fathers. That’s the answer.

Woudnt it be nice if police officers employed this type of reflection personally instead of directing it at victims?

Sometimes I'd like to ask police officers how they fail to use the powers available to THEM to stop perpetrators again and again 🤷‍♀️

Changing the way we look at things deserves to be amplified.

Police Officers need to be better informed. Fear, money, fear, custody fight, fear, homelessness, fear! Sometimes the abuser can actually turn the tables on the abused and even convince the police they are innocent and the abused is the one at fault.

We did a whole series of podcasts on #OIDV or police officer perpetrated domestic violence. Check them out here: safeandtogetherinstitute.com/?s=officer

I’ve been asked how I could stay with an abuser several times but very few get upset and ask how he could be okay with himself, even play the victim in the situation. The double standard is so real. And that’s without kids being involved.

In my book, I talked about the same issue, particularly as it relates to the language of child witness to violence. That language leaves out who the perpetrator is and also leaves out the parental responsibility.

This looks amazing David. Just bought and so looking forward to reading

Totally agree. There are so many amazing dads who are positively and strongly engaged with their children and are supportive of their partners. Those fathers are not getting the credit they deserve (or they are getting too much credit, e.g. people being amazed that men can parent…

My great-aunt married a police officer who abused her daily, cheated on her, brought home disease, & eventually left her broke & penniless so he could marry his mistress.

While that is not MY experience with police officers, that cop who abused my great-aunt was protected by the…

👏🏽👏🏽🏆 David: How many times in 10 years have a you said to the perpetrating father 'how could you put the mother of your children and your children through this?'

'Students who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual were less likely to say that they’d never had sexual contact, relative to population size, by about 18%.' - Jamie Paul 🍝
queermajority.com/essays-all/the…

Check out the Safe & Together Institute Virtual Academy with free and low cost learning options: academy.safeandtogetherinstitute.com Also our 4 day CORE is online for more intensive learning

ICYMI: here is a Partnered with a Survivor episode from the archives safeandtogetherinstitute.com/season-3-episo…

Right..it's not just if they arrest but how they arrest.