David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile
David Breitman

@davidbreitman

I enjoy obscure winter sports, family friendly gangster rap and the non-sex parts of porn....

ID: 40060790

calendar_today14-05-2009 19:00:38

4,4K Tweet

482 Followers

30 Following

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My buddy just spent 10 minutes telling me about "Tinder." He seems to think getting Herpes or waking up in a tub of ice will cheer me up...

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Note to self: if you're gonna refer to someone as "that fat guy who gets easily winded," check to make sure he's not on the email chain.

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My brother refused to let "being Jewish" ruin his Christmas. He bought himself a stocking, filled it with presents and is now opening them.

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Christmas Eve...The one night I don't have to put my dishes in the sink. Seriously, I leave milk and cookies everywhere and nobody complains

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Merry Christmas to all my non-Jewish friends. I hope everyone I've met through playing sports or doing manual labor has a nice holiday.

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Besides "make sure she doesn't have a penis," does anyone have some tips for Amsterdam? Food, museums, underground sports I can gamble on...

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Be sure to keep telling everyone on Facebook how amazing your Christmas was... Every time you make a friend jealous, an angel gets its wings

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Can I link my Instagram to the dictionary? I'm alone at a hotel bar on Christmas... A picture of this should be under the entry for "sad. "

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My Lit professor always said "each new chapter can change the whole story." Excited to see how this next step shapes my tale. Off to Europe!

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

When landing in Amsterdam it'll take 30 minutes by train to my buddy's house. Or, an hour to pronounce "Anjlierdwarstraat 7" to a cab driver

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Happy Boxing Day to my Canadian friends.... and to my American ones who think we're pretty much just making up holidays at this point.

David Breitman (@davidbreitman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Moving time! If anyone knows one of those depressing complexes filled with divorced Dads who call it a "temporary situation," hit me up!