OMG GAGGED EM

Just opened the electrical box in my apartment to reset a tripped breaker and feeling very masculine. Should I join the army

checked the lobby of my building for packages and saw one man ordered eight bic all purpose long stem lighters. i fear he means to kill us all

buying little things for oneself 🤗

Release the Jepstein Files!!!

?

They should make a movie where vampires live in towns like this and when the sun sets for the winter they get like 30 days of pure darkness

Ah yes, Reynisfjara, where I once was taking a picture of my best friend and a sneaker wave grabbed her and almost dragged her out to sea and killed her. Can’t wait!

so i’m supposed to believe that 10% of the sf city population are in queue to get olivia dean tickets…Ticketmaster not a single one of you will ever see heaven, not one

that’s a consignment shop but i’m so happy for you

can crows cough cuz one just coughed at me

It doesn’t “hit differently when looking at one choice” - that is literally what Passengers is about. An entire character reacts to that decision for half of the film. Please pause your tweet automations to THINK.

eating chicken and rice is oh so nice :)

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

i need to eat a pound of bolognese

I saw a “Translate” button for an Instagram Reel of a man doing a comedy set in Portuguese, hit it, and the video not only changed the audio to English, but also edited his mouth to look like he was speaking English words. It was actually horrifying.

“I stayed up for 36 hours straight and then got behind the wheel of a motor vehicle.”

lmao okay f*ggot

A smile is something special, A ribbon is something rare, So I'll be special and I'll be rare with a smile and a ribbon in my hair.

I am choosing to believe they saw my tweet and posted this as a result 🧘🏻‍♂️