Retweet to remind everybody to stop taking life so seriously and laugh.

Lawless are they that make their wills their law. pquot.es/lh #williamshakespeare #shakespeare #quote #quotes

I drive a hearse that plays ice cream truck music because I want people to be happy when they hear me but sad when they see me

In 2010, Americans spent $61 billion on weight loss diets, $11 billion more than what is needed to send every student to college for free.

Priceless: Oklahoma Lawmaker, Erects Ten Commandments Monument With Spelling Errors j.mp/QQ4p76 ^@karoli #p2

Whitney was a husband beater, Michael Jackson fucked little boys. Great, great people though. So sad they're gone. #ama

"@thatstings: Go fuck yourself may not be the answer to all life's questions but it covers the crucial shit" nuff said

"Unusual Facts ™: Cursing raises our pain tolerance by about 50%."

I hate winter. My hands get so cold I can barely speak.

"If you walk into a room and ur the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room" #Dot2Dot dot2dot

This is so funny you will weep. And simultaneously awful: slate.me/SxHaMu via kottke.org

The WHO > The Rolling Stones

"God: Check out the gift I got for Jesus! Thanks Pro-Tec! pic.x.com/FUF28FtW"

"@ChiefKeeff300: People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe all the bad without a second thought."

If your motorcycle doesn’t set off car alarms & make kids cry, it’s safe to say that women’s attitude toward your dong is “Whatever, Chad.”