(Cognitive behavioral therapy enjoyer I just cut off in traffic) Think positively. He is probably in a rush for a reason. Maybe he’s late for a job interview. Maybe his wife is giving birth Me: I’m da king of da highway

CHIEF: dracula is in our sights. Take the shot! SNIPER: I can't, Sir. I'm Woke! ME (watching through binoculars): He's woke! He wont do it!

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

For every person they kill in the street I imagine they're getting away with 100 off camera.

I’m reaching the stage of leftism where I’m ready to buy a gun

just who is this "perry windows"....

i wonder how much it actually cost wizards of the coast to print that piece of lord of the rings themed card stock that post malone paid 2 million dollars for. it couldn't have cost them much more than like, 5 dollars maybe?

JD Vance just gotta get pulled apart by horses at this point

ever since people started putting tvs in bedrooms i feel the age old tradition of 'pulling your mattress into the living room so you can fall asleep to a movie or show' has started to die out

my gut says this might be the last window wealthy folk + conservatives have to get off the ride before whatever the long term consequences are in the face of whatever the fuck happens next becomes inescapable. ive been wrong a lot though who knows maybe this'll all blow over!!!!!

ive been reading a lot of books lately and what i've learned is this: books are fuckin sick!!!!!! you guys gotta try this shit its like there's a tiny little person in there!!!!!!!

my mandela effect is that im pretty sure it was spelled hollar and not holler, but i guess i say it more than i write it so who really knows

it actually would be so crazy to just see a space alien society in like a telescope or whatever, like imagine how fucking out of their minds everyone would become in response to that information

manga character about to be turned into the worst most disfigured corpse you've ever seen: hmph, guess i was worried for nothing

its wild that the visine laxative thing comes from a movie and the reality is that ingesting visine orally can like, kill you in an excrutiating manner akin to a neurotoxin

im gonna be miffed if aliens have been here a while because it means my dads close encounter tales are probably real and he's probably got some kinda alien gene splice shit going on which is why he's so durable and charismatic, and can always guess the endings to movies. not fair

staring at a trifold map pinned to a desk with a printed out photo of obama across from a polaroid of a little gray alien: why now, barack...? whats your game here and? who's really pulling the strings....?

there is no feeling more humiliating than taking the biggest rip of your life and then realizing you were sucking on the usb port end of the weed pen

a lot of people scared of communism! its by design, so much money has been spent demonizing workers movements and killing those sympathetic to them. here are some books about it: The Jakarta Method - Vincent Bevins Killing Hope - William Blum The Triumph of Evil - Austin Murphy